Many times individuals and/or their spouses ask something to the effect of “What does good recovery look like?” The outline below is what we believe would be most beneficial. This description comes from what we have seen work for many as well as research from Dr. Pat Carnes and others in his group at IITAP. (International Institute For Trauma & Addiction Professionals)
- Attending a recovery group at least weekly
- Working with an individual recovery coach or counselor weekly (Often helpful if wife is part of one session each month)
- Spouse working with their individual recovery coach or counselor weekly or bi-weekly
- Connecting with others in recovery daily through phone calls, lunches, Zoom online groups, etc.
- Finding and regularly connecting with a sponsor.
- Actively working through recovery material that requires both reading and reflection. (Reflection means journaling and/or answering questions.) Darrell’s New Hope For Sexual Integrity is designed this way.
- Going through the Disclosure Process to establish a base from which both individual and couple recovery is possible is an essential step that must be completed as soon as both parties are able
- Establishing a written “Personal Recovery Plan” as outlined in New Hope For Sexual Integrity and sharing that with your recovery coach, sponsor and wife.