We will spend four and a half intense days learning from Dr. Minwalla’s model, from Darrell’s 25 years of experience & training as well as from one another. We will work both cognitively and experientially to understand our realities and our wives’ realities and how to do our part to bring healing to ourselves, our wives and our relationships. We will accomplish this incredibly difficult work by going back and forth between looking at the horrible impact of our deceptions and connecting with Jesus who delights in us right where we are. It is only in the context of Grace that we can look honestly at the harms we have done to the ones we love the most.

We only have space for nine participants at each intensive so please contact Darrell ASAP if you want to attend. Participants will need to go through an intake interview with him to attend. Please pay for your food & lodging ($850) to hold your spot. (See below for what meals are covered) Suggested donation (above food and lodging) for the intensive is $1500 which includes 13 group sessions, (31 hours).

Here is a teaching from Darrell’s 22 Room Seminar that will give you a taste of some of the content. (This was during a lecture seminar so the content will be presented differently in this more intimate context.)

Here is a testimony from the wife of one of the attendees

For twenty years, my marriage lived under the weight of ongoing betrayal, layers of deception, chronic pornography use, and a long pattern of integrity-abuse dynamics that neither my husband nor any of our past counselors could fully see or understand. We tried everything: books, groups, accountability partners, pastoral counseling, trauma counseling, intensive programs, and more. My husband always made progress in pieces, but never fully. And worse, he never understood the deeper harm and the way the deception, distortions, and relational patterns shaped me, our marriage, and the emotional environment we lived in.

That became the most devastating part. It eventually wasn’t even about pornography anymore. It was the environment created by twenty years of trauma. 

After the last painful reveal, my husband entered what was by far the strongest recovery effort he had ever attempted. But at the same time, I was drowning. I had a collapse I had never experienced before. There was no more hope, no more leaning-in, no more belief that understanding or repair was possible. I begged him to see the trauma, the impact, the relational architecture he had damaged. Instead, he believed his recovery needed to focus solely on his personal sin and sobriety. I knew with every part of my being that something essential was missing.

Then I discovered the Minwalla model and the concept of integrity abuse. For the first time in two decades, I felt completely understood. But Christian resources in this framework were nearly impossible to find, until I found Darrell and New Hope.

From the moment I reached out, Darrell responded with compassion, clarity, and a depth of understanding I had never encountered in this field. He graciously made space for my husband in the 22 Rooms Intensive at the very last minute, which was a tremendous gift to us. It was a significant financial sacrifice, and yet I would make that same decision a thousand times over. Even if my husband had walked away from our marriage forever, I would still have sent him, because I knew Darrell’s work addressed the real injury: the integrity breakdown, the deception system, the power dynamics, and the trauma that had been silently shaping our marriage for twenty years.

What happened in that intensive changed my husband in ways I have prayed for but never witnessed before. For the first time, he genuinely understood the impact of his choices, and not in a shame-based way, not in a self-pitying way, but with grounded clarity and humility. The shift was immediate and unmistakable. Several weeks later, it is still evident. His posture, his language, his awareness, his capacity for empathy, and his willingness to take responsibility…all of it is different.

And perhaps what surprised me most was that Darrell did this without shame or condemnation. There wasn’t fear-based repentance or spiritual manipulation. He held my husband accountable with strength and deep integrity, yet treated him with a level of compassion and honor that I myself no longer knew how to offer. That, in itself, was healing.

Darrell’s integration of the Minwalla model with Christian faithfulness is the missing piece in nearly all betrayal trauma care. He understands both the clinical reality and the theological weight of marital covenant, truth, and relational safety. His work is theologically grounded, psychologically sound, genuinely life-giving, and free of the shame cycles so often embedded in Christian marriage teaching and counseling.

I can say without exaggeration that Darrell’s work saved whatever possibility our marriage still might have. It is restoring clarity where confusion lived. It is restoring truth where deception had shaped our norms, and it is restoring hope where hope had died.

If you are in a marriage marked by betrayal, secrecy, or integrity abuse, and especially if Christian frameworks have left you feeling unseen or blamed, Darrell’s work is a gift. I will forever be grateful.

I also want to be clear: I would never want to harm another wife by promising or over-promising any specific outcome. Our husbands still have daily, lifelong choices to make. There is no shortcut around that. What I can testify to is not a guaranteed result, but the rightness and truthfulness of this work. It addresses the real wounds, the real dynamics, and the real architecture of betrayal. Whatever my husband chooses going forward, I know I have placed him in the most truthful, compassionate, and transformative environment available. And for that, I am deeply thankful.

Here is a testimony from one of the men who attended the first Intensive.

“Overall, I couldn’t have been more pleased, at so many levels. 

I am a man who has struggled with lust my entire life, and got caught with porn by my wife 25 years ago. Since, I have been to countless intensives and seminars desperately trying to be a man of integrity and being right with God. Although I received some benefit from all of them, nothing came even close to what I experienced at Darrell’s 22 Room Intensive. 

From a practical standpoint, the weekend went like a well oiled machine. The meals were excellent, plenty of snacks and drinks available.

As for the instruction part of the intensive, I don’t see how it could have gone any better. I loved the way Darrell encouraged the guys to interact and give feedback. This was so important and helpful, and was lacking at most of the other events I’ve been to. I never felt like Darrell was hurrying through the material just to get through it. Rather, he carefully covered each topic allowing feedback from each of us. This was so important because each of the guys brought valuable insights from their own life experiences. I was amazed at the similarities in our stories. 

After 25 years of engaging in this battle, I can now see the absolute importance of what was taught. It’s not all about the lust issue like I had thought the problem was for all these years. The bigger problem is how poorly I dealt with my wife while battling the addiction. Lying, gaslighting, minimizing, manipulation and blaming were just a few of terrible ways I interacted with my wife and others. The teachings in the 22 Room Intensive reinforced how critical it is to not only deal with the addiction, but also how one needs to relate with your spouse to bring true healing. 

Along with the interactive teaching, there were a few more things I loved about the weekend. Darrell used video clips about a priest who was exposed after 30 years that was amazing. I finally saw how foolish I must look when trying to explain away my bad behavior. Another thing I thought of as so valuable was the “Immanuel Prayer Structure” role playing we did, going back in time, assigning different people to play the role of family members from our past. This was so powerful and showed how our troubled past helped shape the people we were to become. I was especially thankful to the participant who volunteered to use his story for being so vulnerable.

Lastly, it was great meeting all the guys from group and spending quality time with them. If anyone is on the fence about whether or not they should attend this intensive, go! Make it happen. Do what you need to to make it happen. Don’t let your addiction ruin your legacy, your marriage or your family. Do it while there’s still time.“

Schedule For November in Olathe, KS

(Other locations will follow a very similar schedule)

Thursday November 6

• 2-5:30PM Arrive & Check In
• 6:00 Dinner
• 7-9 PM Session 1: Our stories

Friday

• 8:30 Breakfast
• 9:30-12:00 Session 2 Our Stories Part 2
• 12:00-2:00 lunch on your own. (See “Lunches” below)
• 2:00-5:00 Session 3: Understanding The Harms of the Covert Phase Part 1
• 6:00 Dinner
• 7:00-9:00 Session 4: Immanuel Prayer Structure (See description of this session on our Immanuel Prayer Structure Intensive page.)

Saturday

• 8:30 Breakfast
• 9:30-12:00 Session 5: Understanding the Harms of the Covert Phase part 3
• 12:00-2:00 lunch on your own.*
• 2:00-5:00 Session 6: Understanding the Harms of the Exposure Phase Part 1
• 6:00 Dinner
• 7:00-9:00 Session 7: Immanuel Prayer Structure

Sunday

• 8:30 Breakfast
• 9:30 Optional worship/communion together
• 10:30-12:00 Session 8: Understanding the Harms of the Exposure Phase Part 2
• 12:00-2:00 lunch on your own.*
• 2:00-5:00 Session 9: Understanding the Harms of the Symptom Progression Phase Part 1
• 6:00 Dinner
• 7:00-9:00 Session 10: Immanuel Prayer Structure

Monday

• 8:30 Breakfast
• 9:30-12:00 Session 11: Understanding the Harms of the Symptom Progression Phase Part 2
• 12:00-2:00 lunch on your own.*
• 2:00-5:00 Session 12: Understanding the Harms of the Symptom Progression Phase Part 3
• 6:00 Dinner
• 7:00-9:00 Session 13: Treasure Hunting

Tuesday

• Check out by 10AM

Meals

• New Hope will bring the supplies for breakfasts and dinners on Friday through Monday. Guys will share the meal prep and clean up responsibilities.
• Lunches: Each day we will have an extended break so you will have time to drive to local restaurants, scrounge leftovers, make your own, etc.

Lodging

• We will be staying at an AirBnB that has 6 bedrooms and plenty of space
• Everyone have their own bed and at the most, one roommate. (Rooms will be assigned based on date of deposit. I.e. the first ones to get deposits in will get any single rooms. However, there is plenty of space in the home we will be using)

What to bring

• Casual clothes.
• Journal or notebook.
• Drinks, snacks, lunch food. As stated above, New Hope will provide breakfast and dinners. It will not provide drinks and snacks so bring some for yourself and some to share

Cost: Total suggested cost for this event is $2375. This breaks down as “Expenses” (5 nights, 10 meals, workbook, Darrell’s travel expenses, etc.) of $875 and a suggested donation of $1500 for the KS and Colorado Intensives: (WA Intensive is hosted by another ministry and registration will be through them)

This event and the ministry of New Hope is available to everyone because of the generous donations of many individuals and families. We are constantly blown away by God’s provision for New Hope through the generosity of many. Therefore, please do not let the “suggested donation” amount prevent you from registering if you feel called to attend. We do ask everyone to cover the “Expense” portion of $875.